“Transitions in life are usually marked by major
events, birthdays, graduations, weddings; but the greater transition often come
out of smaller moments, when we stop and look at who we are, because each time
we see how far we have come, we also see how far we still have to go. In order
to fully transform, we might need to free ourselves of everything we’ve been
holding on to, to send us on our new path, the right one. But if at the end,
you find the person you have become is not the person you want to be. You can
always turn around and try again. And may be the next time you won’t be so
alone when it’s over”
Gossip Girl
At the close of
yet another year, it may be best to put to pen what I have been intending to
say since earlier this Thanksgiving. In this world that we live in, it may be
safe to conclude that uncertainty is the most certain thing in life. Much has
happened in 2012 and now would be as good a time as any to look back and see
just how far I've come.
For a while
now, and in fact, even while I write this, I can’t quite decide which was a
bigger event for me this year: leaving Canam or starting with Harvey Nichols
Kuwait? You see, there is a difference. I didn't just leave Canam behind, but I
left a whole part of myself; a part that for the longest I felt ashamed to
share. I have had been treated with little respect while I was there and the
effect it has had on me as a person, cannot be understood unless one actually
experiences it oneself. Not only did I feel disposable there, I also felt under-appreciated Leaving Canam meant leaving behind all my inhibitions.
Leaving behind every shred of my being that ever doubted I was designed and
capable of bigger things. I started there when I was just twenty and in a
matter of a short span, I lost the essence of what I desired my twenties to be.
On the other
hand, joining Harvey Nichols rejuvenated me as a being. It rekindled in me the spark
that I once assumed was lost. I consider myself to be blessed to be surrounded
by people that encourage and celebrate my diversity. Susan once said to me “Do
what you love doing and it won’t feel like work”. Waking up in the morning doesn’t
seem so dreadful anymore and everything seems far less daunting than it used to
be.
During this transition,
I learned not only that I am a very impatient person but also the true meaning
of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you have to accept the person back
into your life. It does not mean that you are condoning what has been done onto
you. You are in no way saying that it is
okay. “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any
different.” There is so much of this teaching I can take with me into the new
year.
One of the
other highlights of my year was being able to celebrate my birthday with Sheryl
Ann. We've been friends for nine years now, and after all these years, we
finally celebrated together and indeed it special. Friendship is a very funny
thing. Of the billion odd people in the world, to find someone one who you can
share yourself with is truly special. This past year, I have also been
fortunate to meet people who are so inspiring that I feel fortunate to have
them as friends.
At the end of
it all, I step into 2013 with just as much uncertainty as I came into 2012 with.
If the past could be any lesson, I think there is just so much more for me to
discover about myself and even more for me to learn. I welcome the New Year
with open arms and wish all of you reading a blessed and insightful 2013.
Happy New Year!
Donawyn
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